You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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