so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
