It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
too bad you live with your parents still
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
