That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
