All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
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Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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