I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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