pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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