i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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