I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
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Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
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It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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