Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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