I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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