Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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