I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
