There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
