so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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