she looked like the before picture.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
