She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
