Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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