apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There's always time for handjobs
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
