I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
