So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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