she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We were destined to go to rehab together
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Randomize
