Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I could make wine with my vomit
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
