I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
