just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Randomize
