Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
