she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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