i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
