There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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