we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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