she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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