Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize