I wannas sexs uuuuu
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
