First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
