do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize