I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
