just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize