He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
