You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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