so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
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I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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