His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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