it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
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So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
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Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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