I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
