you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
