Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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