He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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