What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
