I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
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It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
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I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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