You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The adults are the big ones right?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
