similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it's like iHOP with fire
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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