go do what you do best...puke behind churches
high people should be assigned attendants
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
