yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
