Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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