bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I need moral support for this bender
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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