Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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