My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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