how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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