I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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