this beer tastes like vomit already
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
