THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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