AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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