haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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