it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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