weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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