Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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