dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
