Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
