Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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